Thursday, February 01, 2007

Ask FS! 2/1/07

Welcome back loyal listeners, it's time once again for the only online column that somehow manages to leave a paper trail a mile wide, it's Ask FS! Today's question comes to us from Bob in Vancouver. Bob wants to know
If you were a hockey player, what type of hockey player would you be?
Well Bob, that's a pretty boring question, but let it never be said that when the winds blow, I shall not blow along with them.

If I Were a Hockey Player:

Team: Washington Capitals
Uniform Number: 81
Position: Right Wing
Nickname: Hopefully "Foy"
Dream Line mates: Steve Konowalchuck, Mark Messier
Rounding out the PP: Dion Phaneuf, Al Iafrate
Job: Standing in front of the net and screening the goalie, deflecting pucks in, and picking up the garbage goals.
Signature Move: Getting speared by the goalie.
Strengths: Tolerance to pain, low center of gravity.
Weaknesses: Speed, tendency to take retaliatory penalties.
Injury Problems? "Lower body injury" and that's all you get.
Equipment: a smorgasbord of old school crap picked up throughout the years. No visor, so I can drop them if need be.
Nemesis: Ed Belfour.
Scandal Involvement: Dated someone's hot younger sister.

Who I'd face in the Stanley Cup Finals: Whoever was brave enough to try to face me.
What I'd do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: Have my child baptized in it.
Would the media love me or hate me? As long as they treated me with respect and respected my job, I'd try to be respectful of them.

Well gang, that wraps up this edition of "Ask FS!" and it you don't want to see me answering chain letters, make sure you drop me a question in the comments section, or send an email to the link in the profile. Until next time, LET'S GO CAPS!

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